mamamc7's Journal

mamamc7's Profile | Weight History

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09 February 2018

Chicken, onion and broccoli tossed in Icelandic yogurt, Parmesan and hot sauce. Very filling and tasted much better than I thought it would 👍

(3 comments)

08 February 2018

After an emotional yet healing morning, broke an 18hr fast with an EFFIN gold star!! Cause I deserve it, didn't realize what this week means to me in life. But after four years I should get all the gold stars for trying to keep my sh!t together this long

(18 comments)

08 February 2018

I haven’t seen the 30’s in so long. I have the biggest cheesy grin on my face... I remember when I hit the 40’s and could barely believe it.

I really can’t describe my thoughts on this process.

During the peak of my ptsd I just kind of accepted that the scale went up basically every time I stood on it... I barely even noticed it, it was a gradual and steady weight gain. I even have friends who don’t believe I was almost 170, when I discuss my new lifestyle and reasons with them. I did become a home body and I did dress much differently to disguise the weight. But now I am much closer to my goals... which is mind blogging since I still haven’t worked out, all I have done is eat less sugar and more fat... who knew?! 🤷‍♀️🤣

I have these visions of me being happy and healthy and wearing clothes that make me feel sexy again... I have lossed basically ALLLLLLL of my confidence since gaining weight. My whole life I have struggled with that. Honestly I have always been the type of person to not wear shorts or dresses or clothing that showed my legs or stomach... I mean I modeled and had abs and a physical trainer and still hated my body. What the heck was wrong with me? What’s wrong with me now?! I see the most gorgeous women out and about rocking clothes with confidence and always think to myself “I wish I had that mindset... I wish I loved myself enough to just wear that.” But instead I stand in front of the mirror and pick myself apart. The clothes I put on are either too tight and show my flaws or not flattering...

As I write this I know my struggles may seem petty to some or most people. But they are real and something I am slowly overcoming, something I am slowly awakening from. I am becoming more grateful of this body and trying to crush those old demons who told me I wasn’t good enough.

I do know where these awful self esteem issues came from... my mother. Which is why I pretend to love my body for my children. They don’t know my internal struggles but do know my goals to get healthier and lower my carbs, they don’t know it is to control my weight, gain energy and confidence. Because I hope to never project my insecurities onto them.

Phew, I honestly just needed to get this all out to basically move on. I will reach my goals and seeing the scale today made me realize I am really almost there and it reminded me how I got here... where I am going and why I am doing it. Who knew losing weight could be such an emotional or eye opening journey as well... my mind has been racing all morning with realizations, this post is probably a jumbled mumbled mess of typos of unfinished thoughts, but today was a healing day for me.

Today I chose to not let society, media or my past determine how I feel about myself!! Today I chose self love!!!

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
63.4 kg	12.7 kg	8.0 kg	Reasonably Well

(37 comments) Losing 1.8 kg a Week

07 February 2018

I went to look through posts of the people I follow to see what they were up to this week, only to realize it says I am not following them anymore?! What’s that about? 🤷‍♀️ Can people take you off their followers list? Because I never unfollowed these people...

Planning a 24hr fast, Sole, water and la croix only until 6:30pm... then TACOS!!! (Well minus the tortilla, beans, spicy corn and fun stuff)

(22 comments)

07 February 2018

(6 comments)

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