kmartdollie's Journal

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27 December 2012

Got some good exercise in today. Did the elliptical for 30 minutes, then ran for 3 miles (about 45 minutes) and then did some weights for about 20 minutes. I have done well so far on not drinking diet soda yesterday and today. Today I really wanted a reward of a diet cherry limeade from Sonic after working out, but I didn't. Instead I came home and walked the dog in the 35 degree weather. I really want to do well in 2013. I don't do anything spectacular for New Year's, so I started my commitments now. No time like the present. I really have had enough of overeating and pigging out. 3 days of that is enough! I can only imagine if I let it string out another week. I have to go see the doctor tomorrow and I hope that my weight isn't too bad. I haven't weighed myself since before Christmas and I've got my fingers crossed.

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26 December 2012

Here we are, Christmas is over. I set my RDI to 1200 calories. We'll see what happens. My weigh in was adjusted, too. I have been weighing myself on the gym scale, subtracting two pounds or so for time of day, wearing clothes, having eaten, etc. I just decided to put in the amount the scale says instead of speculating on all of that. I am really serious about kicking the diet soda habit. I have decided that I am going to go easy on the caffeine thing because I have a hard time drinking plain water and when I go out, the only thing available for me to drink besides water is coffee and or tea. So I'm not going to worry if I am drinking full caffeinated iced or hot tea. I have decaf tea at home, I have decaf coffee at home. I started the day with decaf tea. Now I have to stick with my plan to drink black coffee and black tea and not add 20 calories of half and half every time I drink something, which is a lot. I have to go to the gym later and I am really trying to get psyched for that. I was just so glad to wake up this morning and feel normal - the bloating and stomach issues that go along with overeating for several days finally felt like they passed. If anything, this Christmas experience has told me that having a food free for all isn't really pleasant. It feels good the first day or so, but for 3 days? Totally not worth it. Not just in terms of weight gain, but feeling that out of control with food. Also, if you've been dieting for a long time and you're not used to putting that much food, that much grease, that much starch and that much sugar into your body, it doesn't feel good. I know I haven't been feeling good. So I'm ready to get back in the grind. I don't think I'll eat much for New Years at all. I am motivated now, right now, to change things and I don't feel like waiting for New Years is going to do me any good. So to be stereotypical, I have to say "I'm in!"

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25 December 2012

Hello everyone who is dealing with the food and eating minefield called Christmas. I wonder if people of other faiths other than Christianity have trouble with their holiday seasons - Chanukah, Divali, etc. I have been pigging out like a liddle piggie for the past two days. Today is Christmas Day and I think I will actually eat under 2000 calories today, which is miraculous. The 23rd and the 24th I just basically ate whatever the hell I wanted. My blood sugar was okay, so no panic there. I made a gigantic no sugar added apple cobbler, and ate it with some no sugar added vanilla ice cream. I had apple pie a la mode for breakfast today. I tested my blood sugar and it was 96 two hours after eating! Couldn't believe it. So I ate the same thing for lunch today. Later on it will be a fried chicken dinner with my family. I feel sooooo gross. I feel like I've gained 5 pounds in three days. I am still getting into my clothes just fine, everything fits the same, but I feel so gross. Overeating is such a temptation, and maybe one day of it I enjoy, but after 2 days of serious overeating, I just feel gross and bloated and heavy. I am so ready to get back on track. I have decided that for the new year, I am going to lower my RDI to 1200 calories. I am going to do my damndest to give up diet soda. I am going to drink my coffee and tea black. I am going to concentrate on drinking more water. I am going to keep exercising at my current rate. I am really proud of that. I think objectively, I work my ass off in the gym. It's hard for me to comprehend why I haven't lost any weight since the beginning of October and I have been so good about running for the past 3 months. I am sure there are a lot of hidden calories that I am not logging - half and half, condiments, portions that are probably bigger than they should be. I am just going to have to be ruthless. I need to measure things more often - like when I eat sugar free ice cream, I "eyeball" it. I need to stop doing that - get out the cup measure, and make sure I am eating no more than 1 cup. I am ready to be accountable on another level. I lost 50 pounds being somewhat accountable, but if I want to lose more, I am going to have to be even more accountable. And I'm ready for it. I have a black bikini I would like to get into five months from now, and I am going to have to absolutely bust my rear to do it. I'm ready. I'm going to run a 10K in May, and I am going to wear a two piece swimsuit this summer. I've got my work cut out for me.

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22 December 2012

I am so frustrated. I have lost like NO weight since August. This is one damn plateau. I guess I should be happy with myself that I haven't gained any weight, and that's good, but I sure wish I would lose. Granted, I have had like a whole month when I wasn't dieting. However, I think I have become pretty damn good with the exercise. Bottom line is that I am working out 5 to 6 days a week. Today I ran only 2 miles and then I felt guilty that I didn't run 4. I had to laugh at that - "only" 2 miles? I am doing like an hour of cardio a day and I am not losing weight. Granted, my RDI is not the most restrictive. Maybe I need to do that. Maybe I just need to kick myself in the ass and go down to 1200 calories a day. I guess maybe after Christmas I will look at doing that. It would probably help. Also, I haven't been able to string a whole week together of good eating without at least one day of bingeing. I know I have to look at myself and figure out what isn't right. It's a simple formula of calories in and calories out. I did figure out today that I need to stop using fat free half and half in my coffee and tea. It has like 20 calories in 2 tbsp. Also, as with most things fat free - they add sugar to it! I never knew that, the label on half and half is the last thing I thought I needed to read. Well it turns out that Land O Lakes puts HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP in their half and half. I do not demonize HFCS, but damn, I don't want it in my half and half. I looked at alternatives to half and half, like creamer and Coffee Mate. They still have 25 calories for even less - like 1 tsp. Who uses just one tsp. of crap in their coffee? So I decided to buy skim milk. Skim milk has like 20 calories for a 1/4 of a cup - probably double what I would use in coffee or tea. So that's like 10 calories a serving, and there is no damn HFCS in it. I am also going to have to learn to like coffee and tea black. Coffee I can handle, but I am really attached to cream in my black tea - it was introduced to me by English friends many years ago. I could probably do one or two cups with skim, but then if I drank any more, I would have to drink it black. I have been drinking like 3 cups of decaf coffee with half and half in it, and 3 cups of decaf black tea with half and half in it a day. That's probably a little over 100 calories a day I'm not accounting for that is being put into my body. So no wonder. I have to be honest and really bite the bullet on this one.

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21 December 2012

I went to the gym today and I did a cardio/strength class called FIERCE. I didn't stay for Muscle Pump. Maybe I should have, but I felt like an hour of jumping around like crazy and doing squats with a weighted bar was plenty. I went shopping for Xmas presents and ate a great lunch at Chipotle and even had my favorite frozen yogurt as a treat. Blood sugar doing just fine. I went to a convenience store and I was getting coffee, and I was just noticing the donuts. I haven't had a donut in almost a year. I really like donuts, and it would be nice if I could have one, but I can't. I can't even IMAGINE what it would do to my blood sugar. So for my sweet today, I have to be satisfied with no sugar added frozen yogurt. Which I am. I do so well with frozen yogurt because I have to buy it at the store in a finite amount, and there's not the option to go back and have more. When I have sugar free ice cream at home just in a carton, I am always tempted to have more than I should. It actually helps me to have no sugar added ice cream bars, because the servings are so mapped out - just one is a serving. For some reason it's easier for me to stop myself from having a second bar than it is to pull out the ice cream half gallon and eat some more of that.

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