kmartdollie's Journal

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03 December 2012

Day 3 of eating well. I was able to be accountable easily today because my breakfast was under 200 calories. I eat a lot of plain greek yogurt, and I recently discovered that No Sugar Added Cherry Pie Filling is awesome for me - it's low in calories and low in carbs. No joke! So I've been eating the yogurt with the pie filling mixed into it. That's not a lot of calories. I had frozen yogurt for lunch, I absolutely love no sugar added frozen yogurt. Frozen yogurt, along with steak, are the two foods that I feel "normal" eating. It's awesome as a diabetic to go into a yogurt place and just get your yogurt like everyone else does. I also feel that way about restaurants that serve steak. Anyway, I was able to really do well with food today. I ate a nice, healthy salad for dinner, and the salad dressing was great! I used Kraft's Lite House Italian, but I put my own balsamic vinegar in it and shook it up. I am so thankful for salad. I LOVE salad. A lot of people think it is "diet" food and they feel deprived eating it. Not me. I could have 3 or 4 salads a week. So I had a "greek" salad tonight and it was delicious. I am getting ready to eat some no sugar added ice cream, and then I will take a bath. Somehow with my food budgeting today, I still will be able to eat 2 puddings and hummus and carrots later. I feel really good. I ran 3.75 miles again today, and still had time to walk the dog. Mentally I feel really good. Earlier in the morning, I was feeling a little speedy, then I thought about the two giant cups of coffee I had earlier. So now that I've exercised and the day has progressed, I feel better. I think today will be a really good day.

02 December 2012

Right now I am just focusing on getting my eating under control. Last night was like the first night in 3 or 4 days that I did not go over my RDI. I'm doing pretty well so far today. It's the night eating that's killing me. About 10pm, I start to want something. It's really difficult to budget for a night snack when you're only working with 1300 or 1400 calories. I stopped buying sugar free candy or making sugar free brownies and cakes because I eat the whole frikkin' thing! Last week I actually ate an entire pan of sugar free frosted brownies IN MY SLEEP. It's that bad! I just want to get back on track. My exercising is awesome - I'm taking it to the next level. Food consumption and food tracking, not so much. At least I had a good day yesterday, and I am going to focus on having a good day today. I have to take my own advice that I love to dole out to others when they are having a hard time...that dieting is just a process of making good choices and good decisions, a meal at a time, a day at a time. If you string enough good decisions together, you can have a good week or even a good month. You string enough of THOSE together, you will actually lose weight.

01 December 2012

I have done fairly well today, so far. It is 11pm - I have almost made it to bed without bingeing. I have one snack left, and then I will make a concerted effort to get to bed without bingeing. Last night was an EPIC binge for me - way over 2000 calories. I am doing my best to try to put that behind me. If I can have the grace to string together one whole week of decent eating, it will be great. Being psychotic three weeks ago has really screwed me up with my eating. My exercise is still awesome. But my eating is not. I couldn't deal with the pressure to track my food when I was psychotic due to bipolar symptoms. Now that I'm not psychotic, it has been very difficult to regain that discipline about it. I need that discipline. Call it rigidity, obsession, self-control, discipline, whatever you need to call it, but I need it again badly. I have been eating way too much lately and not tracking properly and I am trying to hold myself accountable.

30 November 2012

I decided not to go to the gym today. I have been to the gym 6 days in a row. I needed the rest. I did walk the dog for 30 minutes this morning, however. I went out to lunch with my co-worker, and we had Chipotle, where I got the salad which isn't too bad. I then went shopping at the Supercenter. I am going out tonight to look at a photography exhibit. I may come home early and watch basketball. I just hope to heaven that I don't night eat tonight. I am fine until 10pm and then I just snack. Last night I had 1700 some calories - not horrible, but I am not going to lose weight on that. I think that my increased running has increased my appetite. I am running almost 4 miles, for a solid hour, three to four times a week, plus taking strength training and doing abs and arms. I want to eat more food at night, and my fitness expenditure may be contributing to this. I need some good old fashioned "will power". I admit I have been to this place before. Once I hit a size 10, I think "I'm done". I am satisfied with the size, lose my motivation to lose more, and then I start getting lazy with food and exercise. Soon I am binging on donuts and pizza and not exercising at all. Then I start to gain the weight back - not slowly, but quickly. I do not want this to happen to me this time around. I really need to tackle my night eating.

29 November 2012

I went to the gym today and ran 3.75 miles at 4.1 mph. That is the longest and the fastest that I have ever run in my life. Felt great. I didn't have time to do abs or arms, I was in a hurry. I had to pick up my dog at the vet, and I got to talking with the vet, and she asked me if I had come from the gym and then we both got to talking about running. She ran a marathon last month! She is incredibly fit. She's very young (probably early 30's) and she is in such good shape. But we talked about training and running races, and I told her about my decision to do a 10K. She told me about running stores to get shoes at, and group runs. It was nice, but it is so odd. Whenever two people get together and discover that they are both runners, it's like you are in some special club. Like you're both in AA or something.


kmartdollie's Weight History


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