MrsMaynard's Journal

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16 February 2011

So this past week has been really good, had a few ups and downs but for the most part I've been happy, got a lot on my mind and I feel like I'm being pulled in so many different directions...I'm not sure what to do, or if things will even change, I wish I could find out why I'm overweight, besides the obvious, is it something that changed me along the way? I'm pretty sure I'm an emotional eater, I know I used food to feel happy, a lot of times in fact and I wonder why, I know this is a stupid saying but I eat because I'm unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat, that pretty much sums it up, but I don't want to be like that anymore and I have changed a lot I just need a little bit more help and so many people around don't get it, but I've dealt with trying by myself and lost over 100 pounds and within a few years gained it back and then some, I just want to feel like I did when I was smaller, I could shop anywhere, I slept better, I could do things so much easier but I guess I'll keep trying, nothing ever worth having is always easy right?

15 February 2011

Weight: Lost so far: Still to go: Diet followed:
124.0 kg 8.0 kg 51.4 kg Reasonably Well
   Add Comment Losing 0.0 kg a Week

09 February 2011

Sigh, I haven't lost any weight in over a week now, I can't seem to stick to the amount of calories I want in a day and I haven't been exercising, I feel so negative, I wish I had more support around me...and more motivation...it's hard trying to do it on your own, my husband watched his calories and lost over 20 pounds, he has way more calories to eat than me the only workout he does is his job but it keeps him moving so I guess that's good enough, I just can't shake this feeling of being worthless, I have so many fears about my weight yet I can't even stick to my plan, I don't know what I'm going to do...I guess I need to just suck it up and do what I need to do period, maybe give myself a "prize" for when I do reach a goal, anyone have any ideas on staying motivated...I know the whole you're only cheating yourself thing but that doesn't seem to be enough anymore.

01 February 2011

Weight: Lost so far: Still to go: Diet followed:
124.1 kg 7.9 kg 51.5 kg Reasonably Well
   Add Comment Losing 0.8 kg a Week

31 January 2011

Listening to some music to soothe me, dealing with too much stress lately, heck I've been dealing with tons of stress for 2 years or better, luckily I've been able to get rid of a fair amount of drama causers which has helped but what do you do when the people that cause you stress are FAMILY, this year is going to be a better year all around a better me inside and out and I refuse to keep negative people in my life period!

Money issues seem to be the problem today, of course my husband's old job just sent out his tax forms today(figures)a little Otep is comforting me at this moment, I want to get in the habit of writing a journal everyday, My life long dream has always been to become a singer, writer or chef, ha of course one of those would be chef huh? singing has always been a dream of mine but my weight keeps me from showing my talents, 90% of the time, and also my husband being a singer(not wanting to be judged I guess, although he has heard me sing but only on rock band or guitar hero lol)but I hope with getting a better image of myself will allow me to achieve my dreams or at least one of them, well suppose I have rambled on enough for now...


MrsMaynard's Weight History


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