jammie's Journal, 01 Nov 07

So this is my start, my story. I don't really need to lose any weight, but lost quite a bit over the last year or so. 50 pounds. It started a terrible mess for me with food. Though food has always been an issue in some way or another throughout my life and family's life. But after losing this weight and obsessing about food and exercise, it has become all that I think about all day long. I am always "Hungry" and can always eat, despite I am a low weight with low BMI and only gain a few pounds and then lose it back with not binging a few days and exercising daily. I really only binge on low calorie food, but a lot of it so I don't feel good mentally or physically. It's gotten so crazy I can barely get anything done in my home or with my kids or with my homebased computer business. I am setting up an appt with a nutritionist and know I need professional help from a psychologist as well. I am so embarassed about this and don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about. I thought "Blogging" annonomously about it, might be a small step to help me and make me feel better. One of my biggest binge foods is plain airpopped popcorn - A whole jar a day!I am so happy before and during and feel so awful after and guilty after. I do this several times per week. I also eat "Tons" of fruit and vegis - to excess as well as low-cal/lo-fat snacks with a lot of nutrisweet, much more than anyone should eat each day. It may not be chips and chocolate but it is not healthy by any means and taking such a toll on me and my life. Yesterday, Halloween was not good. I felt deprived that I could not eat the candy everyone else was so I just kept munching on the popcorn, secretly of course. I bought pints of this very low cal yogurt and lots of local lollipops and just ate ALL day long.......It's a new day and a new month and I want so badly to conquer this thing. I don't know how long it will go on for. It really is new for me. It will prob take a professional and maybe some meds, but before that gets going, I had to vent.

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I just wanted to congratulate you on recognizing your food weakness, and taking the steps towards fixing the problem. When food absolutely controls your every thought, even if it is good for you food, it controls your life. You should be able to eat to live, not live to eat. Good luck with your journey. If you need any pick me ups, or advice, feel free to contact me. Have a great Thursday! 
01 Nov 07 by member: kellylean

     
 

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