dontwant2befat's Journal, 10 Sep 08

Today was a really difficult day to get thru. It has been exactly 2 months since my husband passed. I think today was so hard because it really hit me that he is not coming back. I have been so consumed with grief, the funeral, housing arrangments, dealing with the insurance for the house fire, and making sure that my children are dealing with their grief that it really hadn't had time to sink in. Boy did it sink into day. I spent most of the mornig at work trying to work between crying fits. At 1:30 I finally called it a day and came home. I did finally force my self to go by the bank and close his account, that was really hard but it is done and don't have to worry about it anymore.

The plumbig issues are finally resloved so we can wash some clothes tonight and get a shower since we missed one last night. Can you say nasty. I couldn't have lived back before indoor plumbing and hot showers.

On the food front I did realy well this morning and afternoon but blew it at church becasue they always serve the best dinners. I keep threatening to quit going to the dinner before services but the kids like it and they get to socalize some before service begins.

Well I guess I can give myself some credit I made it to work and church, ate Ok and didn't spend the entire day in bed feeling sorry for myself like I really wanted to do.

View Diet Calendar, 10 September 2008:
1800 kcal Fat: 76.84g | Prot: 81.70g | Carbs: 197.06g.   Breakfast: Pineapple, strawberries, 1% Lowfat Milk w/ Vitamin A & D, Total. Lunch: 6" Oven Roasted Chicken Breast. Dinner: Yellow Cake (with Vanilla Frosting) , Plain Dinner Rolls (with Low Fat 2% Milk) , Mashed Potatoes, Ground Beef (75% Lean / 25% Fat) . Snacks/Other: Water, Brocolli, Fresh Baby Cut Carrots. more...
4144 kcal Exercise: Walking (slow) - 3/kph - 15 minutes, Desk Work - 8 hours, Resting - 7 hours and 45 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...

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Comments 
You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and that means you should give yourself lots of credit. You are one tough and brave lady--I can't imagine what you are going through right now. I wish I had something wise to say, but nothing goes quite far enough, so I WILL say that I am praying for you and your children. Hang in girl, you're rockin' it! 
10 Sep 08 by member: Simille
I have been thinking alot about you lately. You and your family are really going through some tough times right now. I wish I had some great wisdom for you. But I am just not that smart. LOL I know that when I have had deaths in the family or I used to work in health care, that I came across the need to know the process of grieving. Soooo..... I have found a little tid bit for you: 1)denial and Isolation. At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer. 2)Anger. The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it. 3)Bargaining. Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?" 4)Depression. The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath. 5)Acceptance. This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss. I found this at: http://www.memorialhospital.org/library/general/stress-THE-3.html If you find it helpful or even curious you might look into it more on your free time. Understanding the grieving proccess Might help. Then again, you might just think I am crazy for sending you this. LOL lets hope not. Remember we all love you here! AND I mean REALLY REALLY love you! Hugs, Denice 
10 Sep 08 by member: Cowgirlspurr
http://www.memorialhospital.org/library/general/stress-THE-3.html I noticed it did post the whole web address SO I am posting it again to seii if it works this time. Love and Hugs again, Denice 
10 Sep 08 by member: Cowgirlspurr
WOW - that's about all I can say. You're soooo much stronger than me - getting your son to drive behind you so you could walk?!? I would have said "oh well, done for the day". LOL. Good for you on sticking to your guns!! As for all the other stresses in your life, I know they'll continue for quite a while. Just know that I'm saying a few extra prayers for you and your family. It's a tough situation to be in - and though I have not, personally, been through your loss, I've been very close to people who've had similar stories. Just know we're all here for you - not just for the support of the weight...because the other stressers will, no doubt, affect that as well. You definitely get my vote for a Medal of Honor!! 
11 Sep 08 by member: Jade2713
I second that vote! Medal of Honor Granted! 
11 Sep 08 by member: Cowgirlspurr

     
 

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