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He told me he needs a friend. He asked me if I could be his friend and at the same time, be his ex-wife. I don't really understand what he needs.. but apparently, he wants someone he can talk to about certain things.. and wants to know if I can remain completely platonic about those things even if they concern me. Then he wants to be able to come to me as my husband/ex-husband and ask me the same things but then get my opinion based on what I have vested into the relationship. I told him that I don't know if I can do that for him. I need some time to reflect on it. I'm so afraid he's going to lose it if he doesn't find a friend soon. I don't want him to lose control. If he does, then he jeoprodizes custody of his son, our son.
I'm in a hell of a situation here. I'm so conflicted. On one hand, I want nothing more than to be able to be that friend that he needs. On the other hand, I don't know if I can invest any more of who I am into him.
That being said, I'm still my number one priority. I'm never going to let myself slip from anything other than my number one priority for any man again. I wake up most days, and I like me. I haven't felt that way in a long time. I don't want to lose that feeling.
I'm still confused about life. I'm still not 100% sure of what I want to get out of life. I don't know what I want to do with my life or where I want to be 5 years from now other than the fact that I want to be smiling.
It's still hard, but it's much easier..
Every day is easier.
Can I be what he needs me to be in a friend? I suppose that's my serious question.
Dinner tonight with friends (hibachi=sodium heartattack) and bowling afterwards. I'm looking forward to it.
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 Comments
Ummm Pretty - I think it is not about what he needs right now....it is about what you need. You cannot hold yourself responsible for this grown adult and his reactions to a situation that you need to deal with yourself and for yourself. You keep looking after yourself and learning to like and live again - you will find that he will carry on regardless :)
26 Jan 12 by member: triaby
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From past experience, it is very difficult to be friends with an ex-partner. As a woman, we have the caring, nuturing, supportive nature and it gets us into trouble a lot. I tried recently to be friends with my ex-boyfriend. He never respected the friendship and pushed the boundaries. I also was unable to be a good friend to him, as I had a lot of bent up feelings that kept coming back into our attempt at friendship. Every woman, has to figure out if this can work for them as an individual, we don't have any shared children together. Even though we were 'best friends' for years, the friendship is no longer there in my case and therefore I ended all communications with him. My emotions and feelings kept clouding my rational logical judgement.
Pretty you will decide what works best for you, but at this point you no longer have to take are of your ex-husband. He is a grown man and he needs to make his own decisions and you are not responsible for the choices he makes or the negative consequences; those choices may have for him in the future.
I love that you are waking up feeling like YOU again!! It is a great feeling isn't it? You inspire me every day. You have given me strength to conquer my relationship issues as well. For that I am thankful! Keep your head up and don't stop shining!!
26 Jan 12 by member: CurlyLocks66
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This has to be all about YOU...You have already given him too much as
it is..He needs to get on with his life and so do you..He has to learn
to be alone for a change...he has always had you..He needs to grow up
now..and you need to take care of you...Thats all I am going to say about that...Love and Hugs..:O)
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Been there, done that. We thought we could be this couple like Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. Haha...not. In my opinion, this rarely works. I'm not saying it doesn't for some, but in the majority of cases it is difficult if not impossible.
I agree that now is the time for you to take care of you. And what happens when one of you starts dating? Doesn't sound like it will be a problem for you, but what about him? It's an emotional time bomb waiting to happen.
Anyway, just my 2 cents. Like your profile. Keep smiling!
27 Jan 12 by member: Olivia70
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