A couple of weeks ago, after a TOPS meeting, I was feeling a bit off and did not feel like eating dinner. After a while of feeling not quite right, it occurred to me to take my blood pressure. OMG!!! Both my BP and pulse were really high -- scary high. Yet, for some reason, I could not bring myself to dial 911. Instead, I popped one of the "as needed" meds the arrhythmia specialist had prescribed for times such as these. I kept monitoring my BP throughout the night and fell asleep. Happy to awake the next morning, I was disappointed to discover that my heart was still out of rhythm. I took another pill, and it righted itself later that morning.
I must admit that I haven't been feeling quite right since then, except for one really good day. But that night scared me enough that I've changed my eating habits, cut way back on caffeine, etc. That night at TOPS, I was up to 256.4 lbs. I am now 246.4 -- exactly 10 pounds less and at the exact weight I was at the first TOPS weigh-in of 2016. All I've done this year is go up and down the same 10 pounds. Now that I'm back down to where I began, I began looking back over the past year and made some new goals.
My plan is to continue to make better food choices. But instead of focusing so much on what I weigh, I'm going to focus more on how I feel. I'm going to love and appreciate myself more, listen to my body and rest when I feel like I need to instead of pushing myself to do things just because I think I should. In fact, let's just toss out that S-word altogether and replace it with words like CAN and WILL.
This is truly the first time in forever that I feel like my head is aligned with my heart and that I'm fully present inside this body, which I've come to accept as the only one I'm going to be given, so I might as well do what I can to make the best of it.
Although I'm not feeling too great as 2016 winds to an end, I do truly believe that 2017 is going to be one of my best years to date.
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111.8 kg
Lost so far: 3.0 kg.
Still to go: 41.5 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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Losing 0.1 kg a Week
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