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I sort of dreaded today! But with my recent Boost from the scale yesterday...I don't feel quite so bad. You see, last year on this day, I reached my original goal. Then took off into Maintenance with flying colors.
I made it through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's without much if any weight gain! Maybe a pound..but we all know about fluctuations. And I was ENJOYING Maintenance!!! And enjoying my resting place at 140.
Then somewhere around Jan or Feb, I made the decision to tweek my goal and push myself to work my way downward to 135. Been on an uphill climb ever since!
In retrospect, I do believe those first few months of feeling as though I was 'in Maintenance' actually didn't do me any favors. I basically figured out my body's tolerance for 'extra' carbs, no matter what they were... about once every other week... I could have a planned indulgence, and stay the same. Nothing overboard, just something I hadn't had in a long time, that I felt I wanted to have again.
But by Feb, this seems to have opened a bit of a Pandora's Box.
I struggled A LOT - to put multiple weeks of CLEAN 'no indulgences' WEEKS back to back... So, I took different approaches. From increasing my protein, to increasing my healthy fats, to WELL, YOU NAME IT... I was in search of figuring it out.
But I still had the unfortunate belief in my head that the 'occasional' something COULDN'T possibly be the problem, as I maintained for 4 months thru the holidays, and didn't gain.
Well, here I sit a year later... and I don't think I have reached my goals yet. Not weight wise. No eating habits wise. I am learning, and I am super close, but I am not there yet.
Why do I write all of this out and tell all of you my troubles??? Because one day you too will be sorting out and dealing with life on a day to day basis... and the last thing I ever want to see, is you also struggling to keep this thing working for you... after all the work put into getting where you will be.
It's not that it's that hard - it's that our conditioning of living in this world is SO INCREDIBLY food centered... that it becomes only natural to want some occasional something from yesteryear.
I have done a terrible job, at finding some LOW CARB substitutes for things I have missed. And although I do not want to use Artificial Sweetners, etc... I will work towards doing a better job, with more whole, natural ingredients.
While I am whittling away at these last 10lbs, I will be teaching and training myself... to make those 'planned Indulgences'...further and further apart... until the things I CHOOSE TO MAKE FOR MYSELF AND EAT...become my planned indulgence :)
I will CHOOSE to continue to put myself first. And I will CHOOSE to eat in a way I feel is most beneficial to my body. I will CHOOSE to honor my efforts, love myself... and share my world with others!
Hope you have a wonderful day! Much Love.
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 Comments
very honest post. thank you for sharing with everyone.
30 Oct 11 by member: fraggler0ck
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Thanks for sharing; I suspect we will all be in the same position eventually. Some of us will not have the determination that you have had -:)..... Just an enquiry... Do you know what your body fat % is? Is this something you measure .... body fat -v- lean?
30 Oct 11 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
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Thank you for this very honest & thought provoking post. Although I'm a VERY long way from my goal it's something to keep in mind. I suppose weight is something most of us will struggle with most of our lives. Especially those of us who have been overweight for a long time. Maybe our bodies "settle" at a weight and if we feel good & have good medical results we should be happy with that weight instead of trying to force it to a lower weight? You look beautiful as you are, is a number on the scale worth stressing over when you are so close to "your goal weight"? You've kept your weight stable for a year, sounds like you are doing wonderful to me.
30 Oct 11 by member: MissAnnieinIndy
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Amazing how our bodies fight to hold on to that weight. Although I agree with the above writer that you look good and are certainly healthy at your present weight - I also understand your desire to meet your goals. Thanks for the reminder that we need to constantly keep our guard up.
30 Oct 11 by member: BuffyBear
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skinny - no, I don't know. ONE MAJOR REGRET I do have, is that I never took my measurements at the beginning. I just didn't know to do that. So I was well on my way (around 150) when I figured out why so many people did that! Kinda felt like it was too late so I STILL DIDN'T do it! (I know, I'm thick sometimes!) On and off, I have measured my waist - and that's the only measurement I do know. I thought about a body fat scale...until I read a bunch of consumer reports that basically said they were rather unreliable. Best way is to use calipers and a trained professional - not something I have done yet. I've just used a mirror :)
30 Oct 11 by member: jsfantome
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Miss Annie - thank you for your suggestions... I am quite confident that this is the best move for me. I am learning to accept my way of eating on my own terms. And while I do believe there is some level of truth to 'weight set points'... I do not believe my goal weight / lifestyle is even remotely unhealthy. I WILL NOT SETTLE. I just don't have it in me.
30 Oct 11 by member: jsfantome
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Thank you for the post, as they say this is a life change not just a diet, this proves it, but you have stuck to it, I wonder if in the past you would have done that. I know for me once I have lost weight in the past, that was it at the end and I started gradually eating more of the bad stuff and the pounds have appeared again. (No surprise there) But I feel now knowing and understanding the process so much more I am hoping that once I have got to a better place with my weight that I can keep it off as well as you have. I will probably be struggling with the last few pounds, I know once I get to goal I will lower that goal as it is a tad high right now. Yes you certainly do look good and are healthy but only you know how you feel. You will get there and I am sure this time you will stay there.
30 Oct 11 by member: Yvonne19
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I think it is human nature to make "little allowances aka indulgences)" when one is feeling quite successful. We seem to gravitate towards those indulgences that center around food rather than other activities that might bring wonderful pleasure in other ways. Society has taught many of us to reward ourselves with treats, things we used to enjoy in another time.
I know that I struggle with the "one taste won't hurt" or a longing for a taste that is inbedded in my memory bank. It is when I crater into this thinking that I find that the scales play me for a fool....no weight gain the first couple of times and then, I see a rise. It is as if my body has accepted this "old friend" back into the fold and making changes to my body in ways that I thought that I had overcome months ago. I think your thoughts for today are well-stated and a warning for all of us as we move towards our goal. You have certainly pointed out some of the "pitfalls" that are waiting along the path to detour us from finding real success. Don't quit sharing your thoughts or trying to meet your goal. It is not in you...and you wouldn't be our wonderful Paula if you did. We will, however, continue to love you whether you weigh 135 or not....Hugs:)
30 Oct 11 by member: 2227Gwen
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Keeping disciplined is not easy. I think you've done very well. Only ten pounds to go to your goal. Maintenance looks like a different, and very tough journey. But it has its rewards (including the fact that it means a slightly higher RDI).
30 Oct 11 by member: Fledgist
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I have learned so much valuable information in the last couple of years, and as I have said before... I am never going back! The truth is, I have never successfully lost weight before without regaining back all that I lost. Since high school, 30 yrs ago, it's been a constant, and day to day struggle. Childbearing...weight gain...vanity...weightloss...another child...more gain...then loss...then a third child...and on it went. Tried to lose and get in shape around turning 40...got an overwhelmingly stressful and 60+ hour a week job, and the weight went back on, and all efforts went by the sidelines. I never figured it out before. It really - REALLY - is totally about CHANGING. As in permanently. I don't fear regaining - as this time the changes are finally more than portion control. The changes are more than the amount of calories in vs calories out. The changes are about LEARNING and APPLYING those new elements DAY IN AND DAY OUT. Everyday, that I do not focus on staying true to what I know is my BEST CHOICES for me... I consider those days to not be very successful. Because ultimately - I take full responsibility for being at 145 instead of 135. There's no way anyone will convince me that 9 months isn't enough time to have lost this weight. So, somewhere in there is a reality check for me. I can't afford to neglect the learning process, and apply what I learn on a daily basis. Otherwise, I go backwards. And that...is totally unacceptable. Much Love.
30 Oct 11 by member: jsfantome
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I think a year of maintenance is great!!! I won't try to convince you or even engage in the conversation about if 9 months is long enough to lose 10 lbs. Obviously it is. Clearly you were meant to learn different lessons this past year ... other than reaching "goal." We each have individual journeys, each define "success" a little differently, each, perhaps, have different lessons to learn. Remember ... the JOY is in the journey ... not the destination!! Take care and enjoy today!!!
30 Oct 11 by member: madaboutmoose
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SO SO TRUE - Moose! Thank you! I'm starting to learn about the JOY!
30 Oct 11 by member: jsfantome
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Before I start want to say, Thank you for your comment on my journal. That really made me feel good. Now for your entry... Thanks for the insight of what we all hope to someday experience. I can't wait to get to my goal but I have to admit it also makes me nervous to think about how I will handle maintenance phase. I know it will take trial an error. It feels like it will be tricky and may even be harder than losing. Keep up the good work and keep us updated.
30 Oct 11 by member: M.Trublu
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Thanks for this post. It's always very helpful to read a retrospective like this. Moving closer to goals always feels good to me, but also feels a little scary. Keeping your post in mind as I move along is sort of like having guard rails as move down the road. I don't do well with planned indulgences, so the thoughts of finding that maintenance level is very scary to me. I do think that this is all about the journey and the lessons we learn along the way. Goals are great, and are good milestones for keeping us moving forward, but I don't think they're steps toward a destination. Thanks for your insights!
31 Oct 11 by member: Carlys Mom
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jsfantome's Weight History
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