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Today I went to the farmer's market and walked my pita-pocket pup. I went in the UPS store to drop a package off. I pushed shopping carts back into the corral area instead of letting my friend's husband do it. Sounds like a normal boring day that any normal person might have, right?
Not for me. Not with anxiety/ptsd/agoraphobia/intrusive shameful thoughts. This was a lot. Especially doing something that's out of my normal routine: walk into the UPS store to return a package. Doesn't really sound scary does it? It did to me! I did it and remain unscathed. Which is good, sometimes something will happen and I'll end up avoiding that area for life.
It's only Wednesday, and I'm already trying to figure out what I can eat on Friday fun night. Go out with friends just about every Friday. We stopped for awhile since I got "sicker" - anyway, I'm less sick? heh. It's Outback Steakhouse this Friday. I really want to do this right without what happened last time. B/P - I hate that I did it, but I can't change it now. So I just try to forgive myself and focus on all the wonderful healthy choices I'm making.
I really want Alice Springs Chicken - with mixed veggies and asparagus it's almost 900 calories. I figure, go easy on breakfast and lunch, I can eat half of it at dinner Friday. I'll order it without the bacon, but oh my, do I love that honey mustard sauce.
My tastes have change since I've changed eating habits. Maybe I won't even like the honey mustard anymore. I'm extremely sensitive to sweet things lately. For example, the strawberries I had today were far better than the white chocolate they were covered in.
End rant.
Thought for myself: I really wish I knew who I was now that I don't have to fight.
xo
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1715 kcal
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Fat: 69.42g | Prot: 70.87g | Carbs: 207.56g.
Breakfast: Perfect Tea Rock Sugar, Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Milk, Black Tea, Low Fat Vanilla Yogurt 1%, Vanilla Macaroon Granola. Lunch: Chocolate Covered Fruit, Mean Green Juice, Spicy Tuna Rolls. Dinner: Organic Valley Organic Fancy Shredded Italian Blend Cheese, Skinless Chicken Breast, Giovanni Rana Basil Pesto, Angelic Bakehouse Sprouted Mash 7-Grain Flatzza. Snacks/Other: Onnit Matcha Chai Latte, Triquetra Health Certified Organic Spirulina Tablets, Now Foods Certified Organic Chlorella Tablets, Surthrival Organic Shizandra Concentrate, Lemon. more...
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3755 kcal
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Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 3/kph - 15 minutes, Grocery Shopping - 30 minutes, Standing - 5 minutes, Watching TV/Computer - 6 hours, Desk Work - 6 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 3 hours and 10 minutes. more...
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 Comments
Tip to help with Agoraphobia. Picture everyone being as afraid as you. My mom used to have it bad. She did exactly what I recommended. Now you cant keep her in the house. MY step dad said when she started doing it she would bust out laughing for no reason. She never would say what she was thinking of when she started laughing though. She still wont tell us.
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I'm proud of you! Thanks so much for sharing your awesome achievement! We ALL stumble, the important thing is that you keep on truckin' Wish! <3
04 May 16 by member: LoveThisLioness
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What is a pita-pocket pub? Is it so little that it would fit in a pita? Like a teacup pig? You are doing great. Overcome one obsticle at a time!
05 May 16 by member: schmetterlinge34
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Instead of calling him a pain-in-the-ass, I call him a pita-pocket when he does something less than desirable. A teacup pig would be adorable! But he's 50lbs lab/amstaff mix. :) Love him so much <3
05 May 16 by member: wishihadinvisbility
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First, congratulations on all your outings! The farmers market trips are a treat for me. I constantly have companies trying to get me to sign up for the delivery services and I keep explaining that the process of getting OUT, sampling, enjoying the colors and looks of the various items is as important to me as the quality of the produce. I do understand though it can be difficult to leave the house. My reasons are a bit different - but I know sometimes outings can cause you to be AWO (all wore out!)
Your pita-pocket name is SO funny. I'm guessing at 50 lbs, your pita pocket boy thinks he's a lapdog?
I do hope you do go out to join your friends Friday. The Alice Springs chicken sounds wonderful - and kudos for your pre-planning.
05 May 16 by member: Vickie 5966
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Thanks for the tips Knuckles, it's kind of funny trying to imagine that, but I can quickly forget what's going on. I think my agoraphobia likes to include fears of getting lost or trapped with no way out. Sort of like, no place feels safe? It's an odd issue to have.
Vickie, thanks so much for your support. Reading your comments always makes me smile, uplifts me and inspires me. I definitely have that AWO feel today. I hope you're doing well, too. You deserve lots of light, sunshine and love <3 I can tell you have a good heart and kind soul.
05 May 16 by member: wishihadinvisbility
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Wish, you've made me smile. Thank you for that!! Go snuggle down with your boy and recharge the batteries a bit.
05 May 16 by member: Vickie 5966
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