You are a crossroad in life with only two choices you can do it, but change is hard. Humans like the sameness of things because we feel secure in what we know. When you get your head around the idea that this change will be a good one you will be motivated to do it so take it easy on yourself. It is not a character flaw it is just trying to make a series of good choices. Some times you will some times you won't. Ask yourself what reward you get for staying in your rut. When you know the answer to that you will fight back and you will win. Here is a saying that I have lived by since starting this journey. Put it on your fridge and it will help. "Fall down six times, stand up seven."-a Japanese Proverb.