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Very interesting conversations at daughter's b-day dinner last evening! It is actually very rare when my family talks about 'food' while eating dinner. Typical conversations range from our day's events, to local events (like the tornado's), to politics, the economy, school, jobs, etc...
Well, somehow, a comment was made - and the entire direction of the conversation shifted to CHOICE.
Why did I choose this lifestyle? That's what they wanted to know...
It got me to thinking about how people (every day, average people) eat according to what they know. How they were raised. Habits they've developed. Etc. And over time, this basically defines your 'lifestyle'.
Some people naturally have a rather 'healthy' lifestyle to begin with. While others, from whatever 'choices' they have made (be it thru ignorance, or knowledge) have chosen to ignore or participate willingly in a rather 'unhealthy' lifestyle. (all food related thoughts here.)
My son's were basically giving me a hard time, because they couldn't understand 'why' I would choose to change all of these habits, and develop a NEW lifestyle, because THEY are happy with the old one!
Eventually - my husband chimed in and told them that this whole lifestyle change is simply not about them!
And he is so right. For a very long time, my world has been ALL about THEM! All about other people. My husband, my kids, my parents, family, friends, my church family, my previous job... it was never about me first.
I actually started this journey to lose weight, but gained OH SO MUCH MORE! I have a new, and different perspective on being an individual. On honoring myself. Caring about me. Evaluating and empowering myself to make my own choices. (not something I used to do.) I was a 'deferer'. I deferred to everyone else's needs, opinions, or choices. I was such a go w/ the flow person, or peace at all costs, that I just did not value myself, or love myself - and it eventually caught up w/ me. Somewhere around 205 lbs.
Oddly, over the first year, while trying to lose thru traditional calorie counting and exercise - I didn't sense, or feel any of these changes. No particular mindsets, no particular choices were really in play.
But when I stepped out in faith, that I could LEARN how to work w/ my body to make the desired changes I was so desperately desiring... that's when I made my very first CHOICE that has paid off in spades! I chose to put me first. To take the time needed to read. To journal. To log. To join groups here. To ask questions. To seek out answers. To evaluate. To work on my weaknesses. (like self-esteem issues.)
I needed this change in my life more than I realized back then.
But last night I was proud of myself. Proud to hear the words, I choose to eat this way! I choose to love myself. I choose this lifestyle. And I look better, feel better, and AM BETTER for my choices.
So, today, I choose to LIVE making the BEST possible choices for me. Whatever those are, they are starting to come 'natural' to me. I think I have actually officially 'changed' my lifestyle. For the better :)
Much Love.
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1434 kcal
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Fat: 114.75g | Prot: 89.42g | Carbs: 4.27g.
Breakfast: thick cut bacon (2 slices per serving), butter, hidden carbs, water (6-10 AM), coffee (8oz) black, eggland's best eggs (9AM). Lunch: turkey pepperoni, Beef Knuckle (Tip Center, Steak, Trimmed to 0" Fat, Choice Grade). Dinner: italian sausage. Snacks/Other: water (thru out the day). more...
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 Comments
So true. As women we're taught to take care of everyone else and never taught that we need to take care of ourselves too. I believe that life is about choices and though we may not control what happens to us, we have the choice on how we react. Congratulations on all your accomplishments. And thank you for all your wonderful insights.
03 Jun 11 by member: davidsmom
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Wow Paula that is a wonderful post and so very true.
03 Jun 11 by member: JMA312
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Great post Paula. I think the problem many of us need to overcome is choosing ourselves over others. Today I choose me. Today I chose to make myself a priority. Today I want to thank you for showing so many how.
03 Jun 11 by member: kmartin
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That was so inspiring to read! Congrats on finding yourself and your own 'voice'.
03 Jun 11 by member: HerStrawberri
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very nice post and lots to think about. Thanks, and keep it up!
03 Jun 11 by member: MadCityJill
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Paula, great post! Thanks for sharing. Isn't it amazing how different we feel when we learn to put our health and happiness at the forefront? We realize that we can't truly make others happy unless we are taking care of ourselves first! Have a wonderful weekend!
03 Jun 11 by member: ctlss
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I think about choice a lot too, and agree, in part at least, with Camus who said: "life is a sum of all your choices"
03 Jun 11 by member: Z'sMama
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hey ladies, thanks for stopping in... and glad you each got something from it. Still hearing my husband's voice in my head, "You're mother has spoiled you!...it's not about YOU! it's about HER!" (Big Smile).
03 Jun 11 by member: jsfantome
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Good for you Paula. I think your hubby just might be a keeper.
03 Jun 11 by member: kmartin
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Thank you-so inspiring. I could especially identify with the part about "going with the flow". You have a very special man.
03 Jun 11 by member: fshfly
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03 Jun 11 by member: Evie1010
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SOmetimes I think we become go with the flow people because in the background we don't want to be responsible for our lives. It is easier to have some one else to blame. Or something else. Once we stand up and decide that we are in charge and we will chose our own paths, it make us responsible and not able to blame the weight or the job or the kids or the finances or anything other than our own choice. I always think about the move in which Michelle Pfiffer was a teacher. Can't remember the name of it or really much about it except there was a line in there where she said something like "we choose who we are. We choose to be a vitim or a survivor" We all have a choice. I loved that part of the movie because it spoke directly to me as did your Journal. Thank you for the gentle reminder.
03 Jun 11 by member: esimnons
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Good for you! And its nice that your husband "stood up" for you like that.
03 Jun 11 by member: NoChubbyMom
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I think I love your husband. ;) Seriously, it's really cool that this became the topic of conversation...not just that you've lost weight, but how your mindset shifted & you started putting yourself at the top of your priority list. You SHOULD be proud of what you've accomplished, & whether they show it or not, your boys have learned an important lesson from what you've done to change your life. Such a great post!
03 Jun 11 by member: kstubblefield
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Elizabeth - you don't know this, but you just won the lottery! In fact, I so did not want to take responsibility, that I completely lost myself to everything and anything that would take away my attentions. I was in pain in my marriage, unhappy, and struggling w/ issues. I was working 60+ hrs a week, and absolutely miserable. I had been reaching out wholeheartedly for God to come in and save the day and rescue me from more stress and crap in my life than I thought any one person could or should have!! And then... all hell broke loose. My Dad got critically ill. My mom got critically ill. My Dad died. My Mom suffered several strokes... and my focus - shifted. I didn't think about me, or my 'issues' at all - for nearly 9 months. I was too busy and stressed out over caring for my parents. Then one day, because I had no clothes left that actually fit me... I was standing in a dressing room... and crying. I had nearly lost all of me. But in that moment, I saw parts of me in the mirror... I didn't like what I saw, but I could and would, work w/ me... to get my life back. I would not live in fear of having a life, and a voice, and if it were to be completely alone, I would survive and eventually thrive! BIG changes came after that day in the dressing room. One pound at a time came off, and like peeling back the layers of an onion, I started to like myself again, ...no, love myself again - and in the end, I now have the healthiest, happiest marriage I have ever known! Truly!! And 3 wonderfully happy, well adjusted, and supportive kids. And a life of my own that is respected and cared about by all of them. God did come in and save my day. Just not how I expected. :)
03 Jun 11 by member: jsfantome
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Funny how cliches and other things you hear over the corse of your life come back to really make sense to you. They say, He helps those who help themselves. I would say that you are a living testament to that fact. I know it is a never ending journey and I am really thankful to have people like you on the road with me. It is not just the experiences that you share but the way that you share them that has such impact. You are obviously a well rounded person and I am very thankfull for the way in which you share your story. Your journal is always a good read :)
03 Jun 11 by member: esimnons
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Am kind of confused - don't they see you've lost weight and look healthy and feel good? Am so happy your husband said something.
03 Jun 11 by member: BuffyBear
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Salute to you Paula for changing for "YOU". That is how it should be. Make the changes for #1. You have done such a remarkable job and great job for standing your ground on a better life for you. Have a wonderful weekend.:)HUGS:)
03 Jun 11 by member: LauPug1
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Buffy - Oh, yeah - they see... but they were busting my chops (so to speak) because I 'couldn't eat' corn on the cob, or baked potato. Now how silly! When I told them ...WELL, I COULD if I wanted to...but I CHOOSE not to! They just kept taunting me w/ 'oh, this is sooooo good, too bad you don't eat this anymore... blah, blah, ...." So, of course I tried to defend myself and explain - ever so politely - that this is my personal lifestyle choice. ETC... That's when the husband stepped in and told them - this isn't about YOU... it's about her! And she's happy! So love her, and support her, or shut up! They picked the first two!!! LOL!
03 Jun 11 by member: jsfantome
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You say everything so well! I can definately relate to alot of what you have shared. Thank you... :) Cheryl from CA
03 Jun 11 by member: moondove
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