redwinelover's Journal, 21 Dec 10

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I need to put the brakes on the junk food eating. Just two or three days of cookies and fudge and already feeling out of control. Tomorrow I'm taking most of these cookies to friends and neighbors, so at least they won't be here calling my name!

Getting blood work done tomorrow - mainly because our insurance is changing Jan. 1. For the worse, of course! Now we'll have a huge out of pocket expense to meet first, and then we have coverage with a deductible. I requested the lab slip since I know I'll need my hormone levels checked soon, anyway. Fortunately, my endocrinologist is cool and understood. After that I need to get back to my magic thrift store. I saw a silver Tiffany & Co. bracelet and matching earrings that I didn't buy. If it's still there, I may just buy them and sell them on eBay. I just found them on eBay for a whole lot more than I could buy them for there. We'll see if they're even still there. I have a feeling they won't be - someone probably new what they're worth.

I'm really sick of not being able to exercise. Now I'm REALLY seeing the lack of muscle tone, the loss of muscle, the flab creeping back on. Of course the cookies and fudge don't help! I have to say, other than this 2 - 3 lbs weight fluctuation I've had (mainly 122 - 125), I'm surprised I've been able to maintain this weight with over two months now without any exercise. Not that I recommend that! But it's pretty nice to know this as I feel a lot more confident about being able to maintain my weight once I can exercise.

Christmas is almost here and I still have a lot of gifts to wrap. I keep going in there to wrap, get one or two wrapped and walk away. Maybe tomorrow. Oh, and maybe lunch with my neighbor - that'll be nice.

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magic thrift store?? please tell..!!!! I want one of those!!! Your doing AMAZINg with maintenance! That is fantastic!!!

22 Dec 10 by member: amy1flite

I hear you on the cooking and baking and not eating - I couldn't do it, don't know how people can. I can't imagine having a weight problem if I had that kind of will power. Your picture looked amazing. So glad that you are maintaining without the exercise. The Tiffany jewellry sounds lovely. My daughter's birthday is in January and she just dropped a hint that she loves the Tiffany key necklaces. Wow, I think that's going to be expenseive. I have only one daughter (one child) and she generally tends to get what she asks for - who else am I going to spoil? Have a lovely Christmas when it comes and hope you can start exercising soon. I would love Santa to bring me some motivation in that department. I hate exercising!

22 Dec 10 by member: sarahsmum

Hi Amy - thanks for reading my journal! Oh, the magic thrift store has something wonderful ... or sometimes maybe not wonderful, but nice and what I'm looking for at the time - nearly without fail! Sort of my "room of requirement"! Ah... ran back to the place this morning only to find another woman had the same idea and was waiting for the store to open so she could buy them. Damn. There went a minimum of $350 I could have made! Oh well, maybe she needed it more than I. Thanks for the boost in confidence. I haven't been on the scale in a couple of days - simply because I KNOW I'm over the 125 and that's one of those psychological barriers. So tomorrow... going to eat right! (I hope)

22 Dec 10 by member: redwinelover

Hi sarsmum - I know! I do NOT understand how people can make all this stuff and not eat it. And for me? Only takes a few cookies or pieces of fudge here and there throughout the day to put the pounds on. And thanks for saying my picture was nice. I AM getting worried about the maintenance part now (see above).... it'll take exercise to really feel I have a handle on it. I've hated exercise all my life, but I finally got to the point that I actually enjoyed it. I NEVER thought that would happen! Missed out on the Tiffany jewelry, darn it! And heck, why not spoil them when you can, right? Thank you, and I hope you have a Merry Christmas, as well!

22 Dec 10 by member: redwinelover

Good morning RWL ~ I am so with you on that out-of-control eating. I am the kind of person that can't eat just one. One = five. I HAVE gained and I know it. I am nailing it hard come Jan 2, because I don't think I can cut back much til then. Lots of crap at work tempted me and with Christmas, well, there are the left-overs that I know I will eat. And insurance ~ grrrrrrr ~ I have a stinking $3000 deductible! I have almost saved that much in my work HSA account, and on renewal in June, the company will probably change companies AGAIN!!!! This so pisses me off. You have Drs you like and manage to deal with the deductibles and they CHANGE! I was lucky last year at this time my deductible was met for my surgery as my total bill was about $140,000. No wonder people put things off or just don't go to the Dr. You just made it too, with your surgery this year. I HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES! Whew, there, I blew it off. Can you talk to your Dr. about just exactly what you CAN do, like lifting small arm weights or something? Don't lose it now, you have worked soooo hard. I would give him a call and tell him your dilemma. I will try hard to get to journals tomorrow but if I fail to, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FROM ME AND MY FAMILY! You are a good buddy and I am so happy I am yours!!

23 Dec 10 by member: The Next Number

RWL, I've really got to get out there for a visit, a glass of wine, and a shopping trip to your magic thrift store! Why the nickname Honey Buns just popped in my head for you I don't know BUT I'm using it! SO...Honey Buns, don't push those muscles before their time! The fudge won't kill ya as long as it's not the whole pan. You're the best Bow Shicka Wow Wow and I hope your blood work and everything comes back A OK. Thanks for stopping by the journal (what an ego boost you gave me last night LMFAO), and I'm wishing you the best Christmas too!

23 Dec 10 by member: Junebug7210

Hi rwl!! Hope you got the bracelet and the earrings. Maybe just use them for a while and then sell them if you feel you don't want them later on. I've purchased Christmas presents for others but nothing for myself... yet. The problem is that I have everything that I want, from the material world anyway. :-) I am not maintaining that well these days in part because of an almost complete lack of sustained aerobic excercise. But, it good to know that I can pull myself back together with a couple of visits to the gym and a little more moderation in my eating habits. For the moment, I have pretty much decided to enjoy the holidays and not worry *too much* about it. Good Luck with the tests... I hate to go looking for things though. Have a good one while trying to stay within limits. :-)

23 Dec 10 by member: information

RWL - You looked so incredible and beautiful in your picture. Loved your description of the boss's house too. You are so gifted at writing - ever thought of trying to do some writing? Too bad you didn't get the Tiffany jewelry - better luck next time. I just can't get over how great you look. I have to try my DVD's again. I am doing some walking but not ever day but nothing else. Did you get a full body lift or just a tummy tuck? I'm probably going to need a full body lift but I really just want to do a tummy tuck and something about my saggy rear too. Have a Merry Christmas!

24 Dec 10 by member: Multiplicity1

Hey, how come it's so quiet around here? Is anybody home? Merry Christmas Eve buddy! :-)

24 Dec 10 by member: information

Hello buddy! I was like that flabby as heck due too lack of exercise for first five to 8 weeks after surgery... My arms, thighs and chest felt like cottage cheese, moved liked cottage cheese and was just plain old gross!!! Felt very fat while not exercising but I managed to control my eating to not get fat while recovering. By now you should be able to do more walking right? Keep positive and your muscle tone will get back slowly but surely you will finally see the results truly from your surgery. AS for the diet? I feel your pain but there is hope! Try and not beat yourself up... I think your eating because you see yourself helpless and not exercising? Maybe? Even after keeping my weight off for four years food does and will always continue to call my name and what I have learned is to not dwell on what you have eaten that you should not have... If I go 3-4 days eating everything in sight I know something needs to be addressed FAST... Like the calorie counting if I count calories for too long I get obsessive and binge like crazy so calorie counting is out of question for me and thats why I have got back to journaling my food instead. Your much loved and Merry Christmas

25 Dec 10 by member: gizmonel

Merry Christmas rwl!!!

25 Dec 10 by member: information

Merry Christmas and a very Happy Healthy New Year. I hope you will be up and running with your exercise very soon. TOWANDA!!!

25 Dec 10 by member: Lisa Online

Thanks, rwl, for stopping by! Hope you had a great day today! I did:) Enjoy your Sunday!

25 Dec 10 by member: happynow

It's always so nice to spend time with good friends during holiday season, especially with a good glass of wine:) If you ever plan to come over this area, we MUST do that as well. Have a happy Sunday, rwl!

26 Dec 10 by member: happynow

Hi NN! Yep, actually looking forward to this season being over- too much crap in the house and really have no control around this kind of stuff. I'm up - 125 again this morning but am not going to record that and make myself panic! Wow... Can't believe your deductible is even worse than mine! Isn't it crazy? Oh, unfortunately my surgery wasn't covered at all with insurance as it was strictly cosmetic. Oh, every time I've brought up exercising to my doctor, he just shakes his head sand tells me to wait. He really is most concerned with the strattice as that is what my own tissue grows into and "becomes one with" the material. That's the stuff that creates the sort of internal bra. You wouldn't think hand weights or squats would affect that, but he says no. Only walking. I may not wait exactly the three full months,but probably give it a bit more time. I feel just about healed but am keeping in mind that many people have said I may still be healing on the inside. Probably when I can sneeze with no pain at all... Getting close! I had a wonderful Christmas and hope you did as well! I really appreciate your friendship!