Multiplicity1's Journal, 11 Nov 10

I had a dream last night that I was eating large bowls of tons of tortilla chips. I was so relieved when I woke up and it wasn't true. I did however eat a chip and a half at Chili's last night and I am wondering today why did I do that? My husband was eating some chips and I think I was angry at him for that and envious that he was eating them and I told myself I wouldn't have to eat the chips if I ate just one. But then I ate another one. A chip and a half isn't a binge but every time I eat anything I shouldn't or don't eat all I should on plan I am taking a big risk that I will fall back into my addiction and I might not ever be able to get back out. I have spent 55+ years in my addiction and only the past 9 months trying to recover from it. It is so easy to fall back into my old habits and patterns of eating and I think that was what my dream was warning me about. I still am struggling daily to stay on track with my food. Every decision to eat the wrong thing makes it easier to choose the wrong things the next time. So what I am going to do today is make a vow on this site to eat all my veggies for today and to stay at 35 grams of carbs or less for the day. I only have to worry about one minute at a time - one day at a time. I don't have to worry about how I will do this tomorrow yet - I just have to get through today. And I will post all my food today.
I didn't manage to get my living room clean yet. I will work on it today when my puppy is busy or napping. I guess I should go fix breakfast now and get on my buddies journals. Today will be a great day on Atkins.