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So i've been "dieting" FOREVER!!! I can't remember a time that i was actually happy with my weight. I was hanging with a friend from HS a few weekends ago, and we were remeniscing about HS and we both said how skinny we were back then, but we still thought we were fat! This is so true...even when i was 165 (5 lbs heavier than my goal weight now), i thought i was fat. Ugh, it's been a life long journey...
So here i am again, trying to lose the same weight i've lost a thousand times before. Well, once i get past about 20 lbs lost, i won't even remember the last time i lost more than 20 lbs, so those will be new pounds. :-)
I started taking Alli on Friday (3 days ago), and did great over the weekend. I don't remember the last weekend where i didn't eat TONS of food. My favorite has been to make myself "thanksgiving dinner", every weekend. Mac and cheese (vegan), mashed potatoes, gravy, Tofurkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce. WTF? This has been my weekend meal, and since i live by myself, i feel the need to make LOADS of food. haha, i don't need to but i do! Then i finish dinner with coconut milk icecream and fake whipped cream (i'm vegan, so don't mind all my lovely substitutions). I'm BEYOND full afterwards, and vow to never feel like that again, and then the next night i'm loading up my plate with leftovers. Ugh, this has been the ongoing routine for months now.
So, as you can imagine, a weekend where i actually lost weight...that hasn't happened forever. Alli did that for me. I'm so freakin' terrified of the "treatment effects", that i never want to go over my fat intake. Plus (and i may be wrong, but don't correct me), i feel that with them in my system, i shouldn't eat bad because it's still in my system. So i just keep telling myself, pop the pill and then manage the diet, because it's really making me think.
Today at lunch there was a basket of chips and salsa on the table. I started in without thinking about how many chips i was eating, and after chip two, i said, "wait a second, you need to stop this!". Before i would have just kept eating but for the first time i actually stopped myself and had maybe 5 chips total all of lunch. Just crazy for me!
Now that this is the longest post ever, i'll stop and write more tomorrow.
Best to you all!!
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1944 kcal
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Fat: 36.23g | Prot: 61.80g | Carbs: 338.72g.
Breakfast: Coffee, Cream Substitute (Liquid), splenda. Lunch: rice, tortilla chips, salsa, lettuce. Dinner: Fiesta Sides (Spanish Rice), Chocolate Soy Pudding, Yellow Sweet Corn (Whole Kernel, Drained Solids, Canned), Fat Free Refried Beans, 10" 98% Fat Free No Cholesterol Tortillas, cant say its cheese, franz thinwiches. Snacks/Other: Lite Chocolate Syrup, franz thinwiches, cant say its cheese, Cream Substitute (Liquid), coffee. more...
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2902 kcal
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Exercise:
Desk Work - 8 hours, Resting - 8 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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