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Well, I'm off today for Kansas City, MO. Have today as a travel day then 2 days of meetings-- back Thursday night. The man is supposed to come spend those nights here with the kids, but has already said he probably won't be here tonight because he has to go out of town for work. The longer this goes on, the harder it is on my kids-- especially my son, who is SOOOO close to his Dad. He was very upset again last night. I saw a counselor yesterday, who gave me a couple of good ideas for coping with all of this. She also pointed out that I have not been perfect in this whole situation, either-- although she definitely said him leaving is not my fault. I will continue to see her to work out things for myself, and if he wants to work on this, then we can go together.
This first thing I need to do is get back to taking care of myself. I have never been one to let myself go, but in the last few days, I have been crying so much and just been so depressed that I have not been wearing makeup, jewelry, or even eating. I'm also not sleeping well, which the counselor said is from a lack of eating and no exercise. So I am going to work on focusing on myself instead of the situation. The next couple of days should be okay because I will be surrounded with coworkers and involved in these meetings, so that should definitely keep me occupied. I will make sure to eat healthy throughout the day. Hopefully be able to sleep more than 3 or 4 hours!
OH!!! I went 'shopping' yesterday-- in my sister's closet! I needed clothes for these meetings, so she had me come over and try on stuff that she had-- One of the outfits is a size 6!! I don't know the name brand, but obviously it is a big 6, but it fits!! I got about 4 outfits from her-- helped to make me feel a little better!
Don't know how much time I'll have for checking in, but I will check in when I can. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. I WILL get through this!!
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 Comments
Hey Kat, I haven't been on in a few days and just read your other entries. I'm so sorry you are having to go through all this. I wish I knew great advice to give you in the midst of this trial, but there is not much. Do take care of yourself with eating healthy foods and exercising will make you feel better. Prayer also really helps too and can give you a lot of peace in the midst of hard times. It may be a hard road ahead for you and your kids, but you are strong and will draw strength from those who love you and will support you and you will get through it. Please feel free to vent here and I hope you have a good business trip. Hugs to you!!
10 Jun 08 by member: livelifefully
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Thankfully you took the step to seek out a counselor, I think that will definitely help you sort some things out. and remember...if you don't like them, thats okay...there are soooo many out there (I had gone through 5 until I found the right one for me when I had gone through my divorce 8 years ago). Hang in there, I hope your husband is open to going with you to work things out! Hopefully work will be enough of a distraction for you, and that you get your appetite back soon. You're in my thoughts.
10 Jun 08 by member: Cheeks
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Hey babes..... I'm so glad that you've gotten into the counselor! You'll be armed with the best tools that you can have in dealing with the situation. I'm glad they pointed out the need to really focus on taking care of yourself, too. :) God is here for you and will pull you through to the best outcome for you! Keep your body in check, give it the healthy food and exercise it needs to be in the best shape it can to deal with whatever is to come. Keep on kickin' butt and be safe!! luv n hugs, .. thinkin' bout ya! :) lylas ~bully
10 Jun 08 by member: bullytrouble
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Hope you have a safe trip. I am sure everything will work out the way it is meant to. Keeping ya in my prayers!
10 Jun 08 by member: wannabeskinee
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I'm thinking of you while you're traveling. Taking care of yourself was probably some of the best advice you can get.
10 Jun 08 by member: fraise
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Hang in there. Glad you're getting help.
10 Jun 08 by member: mbhpro
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Huggssssssss.... hi ya kat.... as ya travel about and do your meetings.. know that you are being thought about and wished well... am really hoping that you'll never stop looking after YOURself properly.. so that you can then better prepared to do the rest... be safe and chim up girlie.. you're a class act!
11 Jun 08 by member: dave22
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I checked out for a week and missed so much. I'm so sorry to hear that your hubby troubles have come to this. Kudos for seeking counselling and deciding to focus on caring for yourself. Know that we are here for you. (((HUGS)))
11 Jun 08 by member: evelyn64
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I was busy all last week too, so was surprised to read your last entry and had to backtrack to figure it out. You are so wise to get a counselor involved so that you don't get sucked into self defeating behavior. A woman's gut tells her when her husband's not being on the up-and-up. But if we let our emotions run the show, we can do more damage and lose our dignity and self respect in the bargain. Taking care of yourself also helps your children to feel like things are going to be okay. If you fall apart, they will too. Sending up prayers, and sending you hugs!
13 Jun 08 by member: Girl_Illa
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katrinat's Weight History
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