mamamc7's Journal, 21 Mar 19

@love2educate I have been logging. But not religiously... I have been doing keto off and on for 2yrs and have a pretty good idea of what I can have and not have and delicious recipes to follow to keep the carbs low. But I should get better about logging daily!! 

Sounds like a plan. I bought myself new undies and bralettes and now I'm off to the gym. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first.🙋😉 

@mrssetters my treadmill is in storage! ☹️ But I live across the street from a private horse trail and have been taking advantage of the gorgeous creeks and trails. I plan to walk the entire thing and see how many miles and hills it has this weekend!! Hoping it’s going to be about 7 miles and there are lots of hills to climb!! 

@alnona Good for you. New chonies are the best!! I will probably need a new bra soon if I keep losing weight!!! So I’ll wait on that, but I’m thinking a new top or something to splurge on (tax return did just drop into my bank acct!! 🙌) And heck yes we need to put ourselves first and not feel guilty!! 

Started using a paper pocket notebook and a pen about two months ago. At first I wrote down time of meal, and the various foods eaten, with a rought quantity measure. Over time, I added more notes, like poo quality, activities, stressers, rough sleep quality note, time in the sun... I found this note taking very educational, and it help with the feeling of being headed to a good direction. Best wishes. 

i find exercising helps me. i love strength training so i do alot of that with my dumb bells at home. i love this YouTube fitness trainer named sydney Cummings. she has great everyday workouts!  

@diddlee good idea!! 

@erin that’s a good idea. I starting doing squats, planking and doing push ups whenever I feel I need a boost of energy and self esteem!  

Your self esteem is a whole package. It is not just about your weight. It has to do with You. Who you are as a person. The things you do to help other people, the successes you have in your work place. How well you cook, clean house, crochet, sew, play basketball, ride a horse. Everything you do requires putting yourself out there. Everything that you do can give rise to proud moments with what you have accomplished. Your weight is just a piece of this puzzle. I had this very same conversation today with the gal who cuts my hair. She is cute— striking is a good word. Beautiful— probably not. A little over weight- yes, by about 40 pounds. But— she EXUDES confidence. She dresses smart- not hootchie mama, but classy. She does the most amazing things with her makeup. She stands proud, takes no shit from anyone and has crawled from the depths of childhood despair (sexual assault by a relative) through drug and alcohol addiction to become a true Phoenix. Her happiness and pride in her successes has given her the confidence to keep going. She is one of the most magnificent people I have met. And, people are drawn to her like a magnet. And she is truly HAPPY and seems to brings joy to everyone she encounters. Confidence has never been my problem but I have A few people in my life who, even at our age, are still suffering from low self esteem. I am not a mental health professional, but to me it seems that this is not something you can give to people. You can support, but you cannot stand them in front of a mirror and make them see what you see. 

Girl, you are beautiful. Don’t forget it. I have been in cosmetic retail for 20 years and I can’t tell you how many times women have told me your story in my chair. Own your confidence and be who you want to be. Regardless of outward beauty, invest in who you are inside and what drives you. That is the most attractive trait. Do take time to get ready every morning with a beauty regiment and write positive messages in dry erase on your mirror each day. See what you want to be and be it! You only have this one life to make the most of who you are. Believe in yourself to do so! Let me encourage you today...don’t quit striving to be your best self. ❤️ 

@kenna thanks. I agree. I need to work on me. And allowing myself to be confident and proud. It’s something I told myself I am going to work on. Because I am a crafter and maker and I have never been able to share that part of my life with people out of fear Of judgement... but this year I am going to put it all out there and know my art isn’t for everyone! Also I am going to start dressing how I WANT to dress. I get gifted a lot of hand me down items, that I am grateful for, I have a step mom who shops and doesn’t exchange anything, so she gives me bags full of clothing with tags on them... but it is nothing I would have bought for myself. I think that’s actually affecting my person. Is that weird? I don’t feel like me. I have a hard time looking in the mirror and loving what I see... the style isn’t my own. And probably not as flattering as I would buy. I talked with my boyfriend about it and he agrees that I can and should buy some things to mix into my wardrobe that feel like me! 🙌🥰 

@kb Thanks. I know weight doesn’t equate to beauty and even imperfections... but after trauma as teen and young adult... then when my daughters daddy passed I slipped into a depression without realizing it... until I gained like 47lbs and saw a picture of myself. I was shocked! The years few by and the weight crept on without me even noticing. 😩 but I am slowly starting to love myself and just not care what anyone else’s standards are. I need to give myself more credit on a daily basis. But when you talk highly of yourself people think you’re bragging and when you’re proud of your own accomplishments people thinking you’re snobby or too confident. Is that even a thing? Can you be too confident? I don’t want my kids to ever think there’s such a thing as loving yourself too much and being too proud or confident! So that’s why I am working on me! To be a model for them as they grow!  

Hang in there Girl !!!!! We all have these types of days.....sometimes I think they are all to frequent.....but just keep pushing through -----We are here to cheer you up ! You can do it...I have found after years of neglecting myself in order to help others did not work on my behalf. It has left me in a position I would have never have guessed I'd be in.......as a result, it has provided me a means to reflect, reconnect, and recreate a new version of myself. And Damn anyone trying to disrupt the new building process. GO FIND YOUR HAPPINESS WITHIN !!!!!!! :)  

You can’t be too confident. You can be a jerk and confident or kind and confident. As a reformed mouse, I say speak your truth. My wife never has a problem saying what she thinks. She’s helped me find my voice. I’m still learning to be confident and not insert myself into every conversation, but it’s so much better than never getting involved. 

I do this often. And even after 100lbs down I still will have the tendency to look in the mirror and think I’m fat or ugly or any of a million things. But I know part of it is because my mind hasn’t caught up to how I feel inside. That’s why I take pictures. It helps put it in perspective. Doing things aside from eating like buy myself something or paint my nails...hobby it up. Anything to distract myself. Because I always attributed sadness to eating or worse drinking. Look at how far you’ve come and you’re not giving up. These are the moments that make us and the people on FS winners. Because we may voice our frustrations or what not but we get right back biz. Just keep at it. This will pass. 

Another point— take this concept we have been talking about, creating confidence, and apply it to how you deal with your children. We all hear things like, you’re a great kid, your the best — very general comments. Instead, when you are giving a compliment be very specific about what you are pleased with., such as (to your teenage daughter), you did a great job doing the dishes, and I really appreciate when you did that but also cleaned up the cabinets so nice. It really made the kitchen look nice. Now she has a very specific thing that you were happy about, she went over and above the call of duty and she did good. Apply that to yourself. Think of at least three things that inwardly you are very proud of or that you do better than most people. It doesn’t have to be true, for now it just has to be something that you believe to be true about yourself. Then post it and read it once in a while. In the future you might consider writing it here someplace, then someone else will comment with theirs and then another and another  

It is about your inside, only God can give you that kind of peace. May God bless you. You are beautiful and loved by God. 

Thanks all! All of your responses have helped me gain perspective and goals. I do need to start acknowledging how awesome I am. I don’t take compliments well... I used to argue with people and try to change their minds if they made nice comments to me. But now I just say “thank you.” And that already helps my self esteem... like why did I beat myself up whenever someone tried to raise my spirits?! Obviously some issue from the way I was raised. Not exactly where it stems from but I know it’s a thing... I also have started to compliment strangers... it makes me feel really good. To give someone a genuine sincere compliment when I notice something about someone. If it comes to my mind and I think the person might be happy to hear it I try to tell them... for example: a very talkative friendly cashier at a grocery store, I will tell them how funny, helpful and friendly they have been. Or if someone at a restaurant is doing an amazing job I make sure to tell because I bet they get enough bad things told to them a day! 

Massive. Wise. Action. All else follows.  

Investing in yourself is always good; I just did that recently.Here's what else works for me: Meditate for 10 minutes. It takes time to get in the swing but the ability to silence all the mental noise is wonderful. Gratitude - I'm grateful not only for what we have but also for all we don't that we would never want. As far as the compliments to strangers, etc.: Yes! I've done the same thing and it's funny how making someone smile can lift your own spirits. I think of it as the "pay it forward" concept.