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Was thinking back to some of the things that pushed me to want to lose weight and get in shape – like not being able to comfortably (if at all) be able to clip my toenails. Seems like a simple thing, but it was definitely a challenge. And made me feel so incredibly awful to not be able to bend far enough, or lift my foot high enough…wow, that memory is even painful now.
I looked in my closet and laughed at the number of Men’s XL sweatshirts piled up on the shelf. Being in New England, you can use sweatshirts almost all year round (with the exception of high humidity days.) I was apparently bent on keeping myself completely covered. As if no one could see the fat, if I made the sweatshirt big enough.
Then there was the day I was walking towards the entrance of Walmart, and the reflection in the glass doors took me totally by surprise. I saw someone walking – saw my own reflection – but didn’t realize it was me. As I got closer – and it hit me that the fat person in the window reflection was moi – I hung my head in shame and wanted to just crawl under a rock. I was big. Bigger than I had ever been, and I didn’t even know it was me. Talk about denial.
Doesn’t really matter if you are 20 lbs or 200 lbs over weight – it all becomes relative in the big scheme of things. Misery knows no bounds… However, now that I have made a u-turn in the sea of self recovery – I am so much better off for it! It’s coming off…slow but sure…and I am proud of myself…for being unwilling to settle for a life of unhappiness, and uncomfortableness, and unhealthyness.
I want to live life today with the simple thought of loving others. And I start each day reminding myself that in order to do that…I have to continue to first love me!
Have a great day ladies :)
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1408 kcal
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Fat: 101.24g | Prot: 98.09g | Carbs: 23.33g.
Breakfast: hidden carbs, bacon (9AM), coffee (8oz) black, eggland's best eggs (9AM), water (6-10 AM). Lunch: hidden carbs, lettuce, water 11-1, mayo. Dinner: romaine lettuce, Broiled or Baked Pork Chop, marie's blue cheese, (2 tbsp), cucumber (1/4 cup chopped), yellow squash, butter, shredded cheddar (1/8 cup), hidden carbs, water (4-6). Snacks/Other: cracker barrel cheese stick (1oz./11AM), celery (5"), water 2-4, cream cheese, whipped, (2 tblsp), strawberries. more...
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