keith george cooke's Journal, 18 Dec 18

I am giving my wife 12 gifts before Xmas... my first!! She loves it. Small, but means a lot to her!! 

That's so awesome mate. I'm not getting to see my partner as much as I would like at the moment. She has a crazy important job at the hospital though so I get it(spending alot of time in hospitals I get it more then some I think☹️) But we have made this Xmas so special for each other🤗 

It would have to be dressing up for a Halloween Costume party, this last October. We went as Mary Poppins and Bert. It was a blast! 

@Keith and @srossca, that's impressive.  

Mary Poppins, blast from the past. did you look Supercalafrangalysticexpealadocious???? I'm sure that's spelt wrong lmao 

Think a thought you've never had before? 

Today lol. Tested for bipolar 😳. She’s sending me to a physiologist as she says she’s pretty sure but wants someone else to double check and monitor meds. Also used my drimmel to drill a couple holes for the first time. Couldn’t find my drill as hubbys shop is a mess as he reorganizes.  

If you are undiagnosed bipolar this is great news. My sister in law's quality of life is hand over fist better since starting on meds. Hope you don't drink though, drinking on her meds makes her flip the b*tch switch in a big way hahahahaha. Dremel can be handy little bits of kit. 

Ugh I wanna drink lol. I don’t drink often but like a couple beers every 6 months or so. I stopped my depression meds over a week ago. No down spike as usual like when I forget a day. That’s why my counselor things it was working on the depression part but not the anger and irritability. I always assumed that’s as from depressiona nd anxiety but she agrees that it’s likely bipolar. Rapid cycling bipolar which if true is why you’ll see bitchy posts then two hours later I’ll post something sappy and happy lol. This man she’s sending me to deals with bipolar on a daily basis so knows the newest treatments and coping techniques. I’m hoping he will agree to an anxiety med too though. My last meds worked for anxiety too and that’s what’s bothering me about stopping them. I get super nervous again and usually for no reason. But it’s familiar and comfortable so I can deal with the daily anxiety as long as I don’t have a lot of stress.  

Sad post, angry post, happy post. If I was to diagnose you I would say you have a case of "being a woman" 🤣🤣🤣 

Anxiety can be crippling. I know what it's like to not want to enter a room 

I remember my last bit of anxiety, someone on here was holding a Hershey bar heavy enough to drown a kitten.... 

Lol okok no more large candy bar picture! Hubby wants to go back and get the huge Reece’s one for himself. Told him if he got me the Hershey abt then he would pay with my attitude on gaining weight once I finished it lol.  

As to being a woman... that’s why I went u diagnosed for years. Everyone said it was just a woman thing and I believed them lol. Started hating myself and all women. Then I started seeing men behave the same and realized it’s not just a woman thing but women do tend to lean that way. 😉 I have had a hysterectomy which I thought would solve the hormonal issues but it’s made them worse lol. A male dr said it would work and a female dr laughed and said of course a male dr would say that. At least before I could sort of know when the moods would change. Now it’s all situational or mostly. But I try to keep it in as much as I can 😝.  

Hormones are real, towards the end of my 3 month cycle where I'm out of whack I'm a totally different person 

What most don’t understand is that we have tons of hormones not just the normal sexual ones people talk about. If one gets a little off then it screws us up lol. Hubby was falling asleep constantly. Cranky, 3 naps a day, little muscle gains despite going to the gym 5 days a week and bench pressing 355 daily and a current almost max of 375(he mentioned this the other day). They checked his testosterone levels and they were 300’s. Now 180’s! He’s taking a shot now. People look at him funny because he talks openly about it and I roll my eyes and let the men know that duh! We have three kids. Nothing else is a problem lol. It’s just not safe for him to drive a lot being so tired all the time. He still naps even though they assured him to would be going up by now. I’m thinking it’s a habit now and he needs to catch up on sleep too. My sleep patterns are one reason they think I have a chemical imbalance causing bipolar. I either can’t get to sleep then can’t wake up or I fall asleep as soon as I sit down but don’t stay asleep and wake up hurting all over. 🤷‍♀️ We will see. I just want to sleep normally and not be stressed out all the time. I plan to ask for a sedative lol. I know I won’t gwt one but I can’t wait to see the drs face lol.  

If you ask for a sedative I'm sure you will get one. If it's 2 things Americans have in abundance it's guns and drugs hahahahaha. I'm sure you will feel better once you get onto of things 

Well you have it half right for me lol. I’ve only had a sedative for surgeries.