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I'm having one of those days...
I am longing for simpler times..
when my children were younger and I had the illusion that I had control over them and their decisions.
When passion for my career propelled me to do anything and every thing.
I miss my loved ones.
I am having one of those days..where I don't want to take care of myself anymore.. I know whine whine whine... but better typed here than bottled up...again.
I know that no person can fulfill me... that vacuum is "God-shaped" and only God can do it. I don't want a "quickie"... well maybe I do (ha!) BUT sometimes I wish God had a tangible body..arms to hold/hug... a chest to lay my head on and rest... I know... not very "manly" of me. But I am having one of those days..
Allowing myself to feel.. a little. I am pushing myself to eat the good stuff today.. and everytime I take a bite I feel stuffed.
Just putting it out there as I journey on...
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770 kcal
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Fat: 55.60g | Prot: 54.33g | Carbs: 13.92g.
Breakfast: water, coffee, SPINACH, CHEDDAR CHEESE, POACHED EGG, heavy cream. Lunch: cucumber, boneless chicken, GOAT CHEESE, asiago peppercorn, MIXED SALAD. more...
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 Comments
Ahhh, FD, I am feeling a little melancholy myself today. I, too, long for the days when my boys were small enough to climb into my lap, and be held and rocked. Of course, this could have something to do with the fact that my baby just got married!! And I also understand your feelings about not wanting to take care of yourself, and of feeling like it's just not fair that everyone else gets to eat all these great things (like watermelon) and we can't. As for God, He is there, holding onto you. Let Him take this burden and carry it for you. He is so very good at that! And journaling is sooooo much better than eating!! You are doing fantastic, keep it up!! Have a great day, and remember, no matter how old our children get, they still need us, even if they don't say so!! And I am quite sure your children love you without measure. Keep being the good dad that I can tell you are. Soon, they will realize all you've done and thank you for it. I know, because mine did, and now they tell us all the time now how grateful they are. It is a wonderful feeling.
01 Jun 10 by member: ctlss
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I agree with Stef. It may take a while but our kids eventually come around to understanding a bit of what we went through and to appreciating us. God is holding you close - just close your eyes and imagine it and know you will be OK. And great job posting your feelings instead of bingeing...
01 Jun 10 by member: Multiplicity1
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FLOWERDUDE's Weight History
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