GorgedLeech's Journal, 13 Apr 15

I hear ya GL. Last Friday, for various reasons, I was a woman on the edge. Half a pack of tim tams and party mix the next day did not make me feel better like I thought they would. I think it's a cycle, feel bad or out of control, eat badly, then feel bad or out of control because of it. One step at a time with everything I guess - thesis, eating exercise. Keep you're chin up :-) 

Yeah, you are right about the cycle - I guess since I have recognised it, it might be easier to spot and break. Kind of jealous of you and your tim tams though.. even if it didn't make you feel better ;) I hope that you are feeling better this week though. Its funny - we have had some people staying with us the last couple of days, and they snack like crazy - every hour they ask if I would like a biscuit, or some cake, or some sweets. Apart from it being slightly annoying because they know I am on a diet, and think they are only being polite, it strengthens my resolve to not snack. It also shows me how far I have come with my lack of snacking these days, and really, how much routine I have managed to establish, even on the chaotic days. I wonder if this will happen to you when your family comes.  

They have started to arrive and I have to tell you, it's not easy....and easy. I know that doesn't make much sense. I only had the tim tams in the house because they had asked for them so I probably wouldn't have eaten them if they weren't there - but then because of how I was feeling at that time, there is every chance that if they weren't there, I might have taken myself off to the bakery instead :-) My mum sent me a shopping list (who has never weighed over 65kg btw) before she came and it honestly went like this - White bread, crusty white bread, butter, bacon, crisps, jelly sweets, crackers, cheese, meat, sarsaparilla, tim tams, choc bars, choc fingers, cookies. Seriously, I'm not even exaggerating!! :-) So on one hand, I might be able to point my tim tam finger at them, but on the other, there is this whole other shelf of rediculousness that makes me feel like you, it strengthens my resolve because I look at it and just think, really how could you??  

Haha! Wow- What a shopping list! That sounds like heart-attack-in-a-trolley for me! Pointing a tim-tam finger (!) is slightly different to kind of grazing over the rest of the snacks, so I guess that is where your resolve strengthens - so that's good news. The Germans have a word for the weight gained by emotional overeating, which is "kummerspeck" - which translates to "grief bacon" - an amusing thought when heading to the bakery ;)  

haha, aww man, I love a bit of grief bacon once in a while :-) It's funny too when you say also about people offering you snacks and goodies despite knowing you are on a diet - it's so weird, right? Apart from being a good way for you to monitor and strengthen your resolve, it makes you appreciate how much others take these foods for granted (or maybe don't see them in the same way you do now), which then leads you to realise that you actually do think of this way of eating as a way of life...and not just a diet anymore :-)  

It *is*really weird about people who offering snacks and so on... Is it taunting? Jealousy? Checking how serious you actually are? It seems like a fairly wide-spread thing as well. Thanks for articulating the way-of-life vs diet thing - you are completely right. I might go a bit easier on myself if I slip up I think.