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I think i just had an epiphany. I am exetremly easily influenced when it comes to food. When a fat person (not to be crude, but someone i view as bigger than myself) offers me a cookie that they baked, i dont wanna come off as the newly skinny girl who refuses homemade cookies, so i have one. When my husband and i go out to dinner and he orders a margarita, I dont wanna come off as being up tight, so i order one too.
When a friend offers to share an order of fries with me, I dont want to seem ungrateful, so i oblige.
I need to stop doing this. I'm stalling my weight loss, basically sabotaging myself in order to NOT hurt everyone else's feelings. Here at work, every time i turn down a cookie i get the "oh yea, skinny minny's on a diet"... the thing is, i'm not skinny minny. Yea, i've lost 20 lbs over the last 2 years, and i look pretty slim, but i have alot of flab that you cant see when i have clothes on.
I do not look fit, at all. I look 'skinny fat'. I'm really not even skinny, i'm 5'2 and weigh right at 140, at the very top of my weight range.
I'm staying fat so that ppl wont look at me differently. I NEED to quit doing this. NOW.
The hard part is, its even coming from my husband, he is in school right now and has let his weight go because he feels like he doesnt have time to concentrate on himself, which i understand, the poor guy is completely overwhelmed. But he's taking his frustration out on me and getting upset about everything 'healthy' that i eat or make or buy for the house. So when he asks me to share a desert with him, i do, becuase i dont want him to feel bad.
So in about 20 minutes, Naomi is going to come over to my desk with a container full of all kinds of amazing christmas themed goodies, and i am going to say 'no', becuase I really dont want one anyways.
Happy Monday everyone!!
View Diet Calendar, 13 December 2010:
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1137 kcal
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Fat: 31.95g | Prot: 76.23g | Carbs: 144.17g.
Breakfast: orowheat, brown eggs. Lunch: Spicy Vegan Lentil Soup with Onions. Dinner: tomato sauce, lean ground beef, bell pepper, red onion, zucchini. Snacks/Other: rice krispie treat, banana, pure protein. more...
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2058 kcal
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Exercise:
Walking (exercise) - 5.5/kph - 10 minutes, Weight Training (moderate) - 30 minutes, Desk Work - 7 hours and 30 minutes, Driving - 2 hours, Resting - 6 hours, Sleeping - 7 hours and 50 minutes. more...
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